FAMILIES

Family at Nat's wedding

And this is only part of our clan!

We are spending a few days in Puerto Vallarta with our large extended family, celebrating the marriage of our nephew, Andrew, to his wonderful partner, Rochelle. This got me thinking about some of the books I have enjoyed about families and  their joys, sorrows and craziness.

Courtesy of Goodreads:  here’s a start on reading about all sorts of families:

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris
Roots:  The Saga of an American Family by Alex Haley
Hillbilly Elegy:  A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J. D. Vance
The Two-Family House by Linda Cohen Loigman

and don’t forget:  Kiss Me Over the Garden Gate by Alexis Rankin Popik

Happy Reading!

Posted in Alexis Rankin Popik | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I have been missing my mom lately.  I find myself wishing I could call her up to tell her something I know she would enjoy.  My sibs and I have been exchanging emails about what we remember:  her speaking voice, her laugh.  This is a remembrance I wrote four years ago.

Mom on L'Esperance

Mom on L’Esperance

Thanksgiving 2014

Thanksgiving 2014

Five years ago, a French friend explained to me what it meant to “make time for time.” It’s a lovely expression for an all-too-rare practice: making time to appreciate the time we have on this earth. The occasion was a visit to France with my mother.

When my mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness, my husband asked what she wanted to do with the time she had left. She chose a barge trip in France. (Who knew?) My husband, brother and I took her on the trip of a lifetime—six days on the small, luxurious private barge L’Esperance, meandering along a beautiful Southern France canal while we enjoyed being together.

This past week eleven members of my family were all together for Thanksgiving in Marion, Massachusetts, cooking, eating, drinking, and washing hundreds of dishes. Everyone pitched in so no one was over-burdened. By sharing tasks, we had time to do what we like best: taking walks in the frigid air, assembling a jigsaw puzzle, watching football, Louis C.K. and Comedians in Cars Drinking Coffee, and talking, talking, talking. This sounds too good to be true, but it was really like this. The difference between this family gathering and most of the others was time.

Half of my heritage is Irish Catholic, so I am inclined to look at the world as if something terrible is going to happen any minute. If it isn’t a natural disaster such as an earthquake, it’s the loss of someone I dearly love. I can’t prevent natural disasters but as far as personal losses go, I feel strongly that I need more time—time to clear up misunderstandings, to make amends, time to make sure those I love know what they mean to me. This week I got some of that time.

Mom lived an unexpected three years after that trip to France, long enough to return to L’Esperance for one more barge trip. While we considered Mom’s unusually long survival a gift, her better gift to us was that we, as a family, learned the value of making time for time.

Posted on by Alexis | Leave a comment

LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE, PART II

Magnolias

Photo of Magnolias blooming in Hartford RIGHT NOW! courtesy of my friend Heidi, who knows how much I love those trees and Springtime in the Northeast.

This week, many readers wrote to me with their own versions of what is Living Your Best Life.  Here is a sampling.  It comes as no surprise that no one’s best life includes owning a private jet and I love it that two of these three mentioned hummingbirds:

From Marcia:
I love the feel of the early morning sun on my face while walking around our beautiful lakes and trails. The sound of children playing outside. The sound of rain on the roof and the clean smell of the first raindrops. Playing with grandchildren. Watching the hummingbirds fight for a place on the feeder, and the squirrel working to get at the nuts and seeds from a swinging feeder. Playing golf and pickleball with friends. Volunteering at my granddaughter’s school, and with Kiwanis serving our neighborhood kiddos. And yes, sitting quietly with a good book and a cat… or two.

Janet writes:
Living the good life for me comes in two ways. Sometimes it’s a big deal and sometimes it’s a sweet moment.

Our recent trip to New Zealand and Australia was a big deal. It included riding a camel to watch the sun come up at Ayers Rock, a picnic on the rainforest floor and a view from its canopy, snorkeling in The Great Barrier Reef,  a BBQ in the outback, and day with koala bears, kangaroos and crocodiles, big beautiful cities and charming small towns—all this given the fact that when I was I child I hoped that just once before I died, I would go in an airplane to Italy. Since then, many airplanes and many trips.   Big moments!

Yesterday I was in my backyard sitting in a comfy garden chair. There were humming birds, blue jays, doves, little red-breasted finches, one fluffy white dog, and one much-loved husband.  The roses were sporting those great big first blooms of spring and the recent rains have made everything lush and leafy. Small moment. Living the best life.

Joan adds:
You manage to hit virtually every topic I’m now dealing with…..wow! The living your best life concept….hmmm ….  Somehow my “best life” is just rolling out of bed, hitting the gym, reading the New York Times, watching my weight, a glass or 2of wine, and sitting on the couch for a Netflix video while [my boyfriend] rubs my back…. then there’s his kids and my kids….Anyway, it’s an interesting topic….makes me wonder what else I might (should) be doing…….which I’ll address someday soon….

Thanks to all…. And Have a Good Week!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Alexis Rankin Popik | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE

Happy penguin

As good as life gets for a penguin.

I just heard the expression “Living Your Best Life” a couple of weeks ago and liked the sound of it—so catchy and original.  It referred to a U.S. senator who is not running for re-election and is therefore “living his best life” by saying exactly what he thinks.  Imagine that!  I did a little research into the phrase and learned that, as usual, I am late to the party.  The expression has not only been around a long time, it has achieved the status of a meme.  (I still can’t define “meme” with confidence but it sounds good.)

There are many descriptions of what it means to Live Your Best Life. WikiHow offers “14 steps (with Pictures).”  This is a bit much.  I don’t really need a picture of a “thumbs up” to understand “Staying Positive in Your Life.”  The ever-present Joel Osteen has trimmed the Best Life concept down to “Seven Steps to Living at Your Full Potential” but it will cost you $10 for the audio CD.  Buzz Feed’s advice is less spiritual and very practical, including getting enough sleep and being on time for appointments. As a bonus, BuzzFeed’s article includes a video of the adorable Lin Manuel Miranda dancing (as an illustration of “It’s more fun if you turn your cleaning chores into a dance party”).  Truly.

So what does Living Your Best Life really mean?  There are 113,000,000 responses on Google, so obviously it means many different things to lots of people.  For me, at this time in my life, there are the big reasons:  my family and friends, health;  and the small happinesses:  not having to wake up to an alarm, a comfy place to live, a cat who likes to settle down next to me wherever I am (as he is now, on the couch, in the living room). What does it mean to you?  Drop me a note.  I’d love to hear from you.

Photo by moi, South Georgia Island. 

Posted in Alexis Rankin Popik | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

WORKING ON WORKING OUT

Woman leaping in the air.

Not my workout.

There are as many good reasons for not working out as there are for committing to an exercise regimen.  Among them:

  1. It’s fun to laze around in the mornings, read the news, play Words With Friends.  You understand—stop and smell the roses.  Enjoy the moment.
  2. Exercising can be painful—during and afterwards.
  3. Regular exercise requires not only effort but discipline.

On the other hand, the benefits are many:

  1. It feels good to be physically fit.
  2. Exercise is good for the brain as well as the body.
  3. It’s useful to maintain muscle strength.

The problem?  It’s easy to rationalize avoiding exercise. Who can argue with keeping up with old friends by talking on the phone instead?  Or vacuuming?  Surely vacuuming is good for the triceps.

Last week I once again began the “Seven-Minute Workout.” I was attracted to it a few years ago because it’s so short.  However, “short” doesn’t mean “easy.”  According to the New York Times, the workout “combines a long run and a visit to the weight room into about seven minutes of steady discomfort — all of it based on science.”  It alternates between exercises for the large muscles of the upper and lower body (30 seconds per exercise) with a ten-second rest between each. They are the longest 30 seconds and shortest 10 seconds I have ever experienced.  And the 30 minutes of panting afterwards doesn’t feel that great, either.

NOTE:  To keep it honest, after completing the above I went downstairs and did today’s 7-Minute Workout.  And now if you’ll excuse me, I am going to take a wee bit of Acetaminophen.

Have a good week!

 

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo via Unsplash.

Posted in Alexis Rankin Popik | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

MOST OF THE THIRTEEN VIRTUES

Praying

Pious Resolutions

When Benjamin Franklin was 20, he drew up a list of 13 Virtues, attributes he believed were worth striving for in order the live a righteous life. Ben Franklin was a genius, but at 20 years old, he was perhaps a wee bit too idealistic or at the very least inexperienced to understand that some of his thirteen virtues were unattainable, at least for most folks.

So here they are, with commentary:

  1.  Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation. I sometimes have this argument with my husband—isn’t “elevation” part of the fun of drinking? Otherwise, why bother?
  2. Silence—Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation. Silence is wonderful but occasionally “trifling conversation” is, as the lyrics of What a Wonderful World remind us, a way of saying, “I love you.”
  3. Order—Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time. Okay by me.
  4. Resolution—Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve. I like the “resolve” part but the performance part? Sometimes.
  5. Frugality—Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing. Okay by me, so long as doing good to myself includes new shoes.
  6. Industry—Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions. Let’s remember that Ben was 20 when he wrote this.
  7. Sincerity–Of course.
  8. Justice– Absolutely.
  9. Moderation–Most of the time.
  10. Cleanliness–Who can argue with that?
  11. Tranquillity—Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable. Easier said than done. Again, Ben was only 20.
  12. Chastity—Rarely use venery but for health or offspring. I had to look up venery; one definition is “sexual intercourse.” I guess it depends on what BF means by “health.”
  13. Imitate Jesus and Socrates. This is a reach.

Have a Good Week!

Photo by Chris Liverani via Unsplash.com

Posted in Alexis Rankin Popik, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

OVER TIME

Sand, flower, hourglass

*The sands of time….

“Over time…” my dermatologist began last week, and I started to laugh. The good news was that over time, lots of spots and bumps appear that don’t amount to anything. The bad news is that things happen physically over time—or, as my brother says, “the wheels start coming off.” This is all I have to say on the subject of aging.

Time is on my mind because we are putting our Hartford condo on the market and I am—once again—clearing out belongings. Bill and I stood in our garage yesterday and looked up at all the boxes, suitcases and sports equipment on the shelves and he said, “This is a whole lifetime of stuff.” I don’t have any problem bidding adieu to the windshield scraper but it’s hard to give away the Kachina Doll that I bought for my son, then age 6, on vacation in New Mexico years ago. He doesn’t want it; I don’t want it either, except I want to keep the memory of that time so I’ll take a picture of it and then haul it and dozens of boxes of similar items to a donation center.

As I was making notes for this piece, I received a blog, “My Old Wheelbarrow,” from David Marsden, The Anxious Gardener. Coincidentally, this week he wrote about his attachment to things. He is a wonderful writer and photographer and even if you don’t give a fig about gardening, you can enjoy his blog about working in a large estate’s garden through the seasons and its changes over time.

And speaking of Overtime—how about that UConn vs. Notre Dame game? We rooted for the Huskies, of course, but despite their loss, it was a thrilling battle. Watching those young women work together, playing so skillfully yet in a way very different from college mens’ teams, I thought about what great examples of teamwork, hard work and self-confidence they are. I’m glad our granddaughter is growing up with their example.

Have a good week!

*Photo by Nathan Dumlao via Unsplash

Posted in Alexis Rankin Popik | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

FACEBOOK: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

FB logo

f = friend or foe?

I have always been a little uneasy about Facebook because it seems to know more about me than I’ve intentionally revealed. At first I joined because I wanted to see what my kids and close friends were up to. This had the unintended consequence of revealing that only one of my adult kids ever uses FB; the eldest didn’t have the time or inclination and the youngest is a quasi-Luddite. On the other hand, I found that Facebook is a good way to reconnect with distant friends and family and to keep up with local friends who are too busy to get together. For a while, I enjoyed taking all those quizzes that reveal, on the basis of five questions, who my true soulmate is or which goddess I most resemble. Then someone tipped me off that these “clickbait” quizzes might be a way to make my FB information available for less benign uses. And now we find out our Facebook data has been shared (or stolen) for illegal purposes, like election-tampering.

I still haven’t made up my mind what I’m going to do but this Wall Street Journal article is the clearest explanation I’ve seen about how to secure (and eliminate) personal information you don’t want shared, how to take a hiatus from FB, or how to quit altogether.

Posted in Alexis Rankin Popik, Facebook | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

QUOTES FOR THE WEEK–MARCH 12, 2018

Beautiful hawk

I searched “Stephen Hawking” on the web for a free photo and this* is what I got!

It’s been one heck of a week in our world, what with deaths of some good people, firings of others, and a wealth of quotes that range from the sublime to the ridiculous. Here are a few that characterized the week of March 12 to March 19, 2018 in the USA.

About mankind:
“We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star.”
Stephen Hawking, British physicist and cosmologist, who died on March 14,2018 at the age of 76.

About the British Stephen Hawking:
“I would like to send my condolences to the Hawking family, we lost tremendous asset to our country and EDUCATIONAL system. A GREAT AMERICAN!”
–March 14 tweet by Donald J. Trump, President of the United States

About Andrew McCabe:
“Andrew McCabe FIRED…a great day for Democracy!”
–March 16 tweet by Donald J. Trump, President of the United States

About and to Donald Trump:
“You may scapegoat Andy McCabe, but will not destroy America…America will triumph over you.”
–March 17 tweet by John Brennan, former CIA director

To my friends who voted for Donald Trump:
I know you wanted change, much as some of you previously voted for Barack Obama—for hope and change. My hope is that you are dismayed by Donald Trump’s conduct as president and that you will continue to examine where our democracy is headed under this president and this Congress.
–March 19 note from me.

And on a happier note: a quote that makes me think of Lefty Kreh, one of my fly-fishing heroes, who died last week at the age of 93. I love fly-fishing, even when I don’t catch a thing, and so I love this quote:

“The charm of fishing  is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable,
a perpetual series of occasions for hope.”
John Buchan

Come to think of it, that is the charm of democracy as well!

 

*Photo by Quentin Dr via Unsplash

Posted in Alexis Rankin Popik, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

CAT VIDEOS

Catman watching snow leopard

CatmanDeux watching his distant relatives hunting.

This isn’t a shameless bid for more subscribers, only a notice that whatever I post about cats gets gazillions more “opens” than any other blog/essay, no matter how well reasoned, thoughtful and incisive. I would love to dish about last week’s astounding amount of breaking (and broken) news but nothing I say can would be nearly as entertaining as the facts themselves. So on to kitties. Last week Bill and I were watching Planet Earth and there was a segment about snow leopards. These lovely creatures were filmed climbing up and down cliff faces so there was a lot of movement that caught the attention of that our feline child-substitute CatmanDeux, who was watching the documentary intently.

When I posted his picture on Facebook I got lots and lots of  comments from friends old and new.  One of my nieces alerted me to videos FOR, not about, cats. Sure enough, there are hundreds of them listed by Google. I played what I believe to be the most enticing for the Catman—squirrels with twitching tails, chirping birds hopping along railings—but he was quickly bored. But put on a rerun of Planet Earth with David Attenborough’s breathy narration of the hunting strategies of the big cats and he is mesmerized, ears up and tail twitching.  Come to think of it, I’m pretty interested myself.  It’s a welcome break from cable news, Stormy Daniels and the president’s bragging about other kinds of “pussies.”

Posted in Alexis Rankin Popik, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment