BIRDS AND BEASTS WITH NatGeo

In case you missed it, 2018 is “The Year of the Bird” and in celebration thereof, NatGeo (i.e., National Geographic) has inaugurated an avian tour in Ecuador.  Dorky as it may sound, my sister Liz and I like birdwatching, so we signed up for NatGeo’s expedition and spent ten days in Ecuadorian rain and cloud forests watching hundreds of that country’s 1,600 species of birds.  Here are a few photos from that trip.

Let me sleep, please.

Hey! Can’t anyone get a good sleep around here?

This bird is a Lyre-tailed Nightjar and, as you can see from his expression, he is not quite ready to wake up and start the day (or, in his case, the night).  This is exactly how I felt most mornings when we rose at 5:00 a.m. so we wouldn’t miss the morning bird activity.

Dawn

Dawn on the Lagoon at Napo

Our dugout canoe at the Napo Wildlife Center, waiting for us to set out for the day.  Luckily, our guide, Marcelo, and his assistant, Fausto, did all the paddling.

Jungle foliage

The view of the jungle from our dugout canoe.

“Dense” doesn’t begin to describe the ecosystem of the rain forest.  This stretch is on a small stream off the Amazon River in the Yasuni National Park.  Hours after I took this photo we returned by canoe to this area just in time to see a jaguar resting in the bushes.

Liz in canoe

My sister Liz prior to the appearance of the jaguar.

A few days into the trip, we traveled to Antisana Ecological Reserve.  There is a volcano hidden in the clouds behind us.  Of the two or three specks (humans) in this vast landscape, I am the short one.

liz and Juan Carlos

Breakfast al fresco with our biologist/avian expert guide, Juan Carlos.

For more information about this wonderful trip, check out National Geographic’s description HERE.

 

 

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FOOD FADS: PLEASE, NO MORE KALE

From the Archive:

Kale in its uncooked state.

Kale in its uncooked state.

Food Fads come and go. One that has lasted way too long, in my opinion, is kale.The omnipresence of kale reminds me of a scene from Forrest Gump in which Bubba lists the many ways shrimp can be prepared:

“Anyway, like I was sayin’, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that’s about it.”

The same could be said about the many forms kale takes: braised kale, roasted kale, kale chips, kale soup, raw kale, kale frittata—and let’s not forget kale juice. Enough already!

Food fads can help us recall past decades. Who can forget the wine-and-cheese period of the 1970’s? Or the Cajun blackened redfish of the 80’s? (I can almost feel my hair springing into a giant perm.) In the 90’s I made several unsuccessful attempts at baking molten chocolate cake. Since 2010, we’ve seen cupcakes and macarons gain favor as desserts, and comfort food is popular now to, well, comfort us. Even that harkens back to food fads of the 1950’s: mac and cheese, dumplings, slow-cooked stews.

I have another candidate for food oblivion that will have to wait for another time: “gluten-free.” Don’t get me started. I’ll be satisfied for now if the next time I go to a restaurant, kale is not on the menu.

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MONKEY MIND

Pensive monkey

Photo by Paolo Nicolello via Unsplash.

Monkey Mind is a Buddhist term for mental noise.  It’s what can happen when (if you’re lucky) you are having a massage and trying to enjoy the experience.  If you are like I am, focusing on a massage is difficult because there is so much swirling around my brain:  to-do lists, the sound of steps in the hall, the masseuse’s breathing, my itchy nose and–the granddaddy of them all–self-reproach for the inability to relax and enjoy the experience.

A couple of weeks ago I spent a morning meditating with my son and daughter-in-law and 20 of their fellow-Buddhists in a zendo in the Sierra foothills.  The meditation period was divided into four 30-minute segments with 10-minute breaks between each of the sessions.  If your idea of Buddhism is that it is an easy-going sort of practice, scotch that idea immediately.  The sessions are precisely timed, the meditation cushions are set out in a pattern around the room and there is a gong for every segment of the proceedings.

Clearing one’s Monkey Mind is difficult.  To make it easier, many meditators count their breaths.  One breath in, one breath out:  1-1, 2-2, 3-3—up to 10.  I use this system when I go to sleep at night and it works well.  But at the zendo there was so much noise in my fevered brain that I would get up to 23 or more before I reined my thoughts in and went back to one.  The brain noise felt literal:  a marching band of worries, physical discomfort from sitting still, self-recrimination for being unable to concentrate and repressed giggles at the various digestive noises in the room.  When the occasional period of clarity made an appearance, it was exciting (in a calm kind of way, of course).

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BUZZWORDS: BUZZ OFF

Lots of words

Photo by Jon Tyson courtesy of Unsplash

As readers of this blog know, buzzwords really get on my nerves.  Luckily, buzzwords fall out of favor after a year or so; unluckily, they are replaced by other annoying buzzwords.  Here is a sampling of current irritants:

WOKE
If you are “woke,” you are aware and likely sympathetic regarding a current issue.  It is commonly used to describe a man who is a feminist.  Ex: “He is so woke!”

CURATE
Here’s another irritating one.  As Brian Sullivan of CNBC points out, “Curating used to be a word we only used in museums. Somewhere in the last year ‘curate’ has morphed into a word people are using anytime they pick something and want to sound like it’s more than just picking something.”  As long ago as 2012, Scott Simon of NPR wrote, “How do I love thee? Let me curate the ways…”

UNPACK
Formerly applied to situations involving suitcases, to “unpack” has come to mean to examine in detail.  Ex: “We really need to unpack this concept before we pursue the idea further.”

TRIBE
There is a lot of talk about tribes on cable news.  It does not refer to Native Americans or residents of African countries. In its largest sense, it seems to refer to Democrats and Republicans.  If you “unpack” it further, it can include Tea Partiers, Bernie followers, Elites, Never Trumpers, blah blah blah.

REACH OUT
Recently someone thanked me for “reaching out” to him.  I had either called him or sent an e-mail.  I had reached out as far as my phone or my keyboard.  I put “reach out” in the same category as “sharing” (i.e., conversing).

If you are one of my tribe, you are woke to the fact that I curate my weekly blogs so that when I reach out to my readers, I write in such a way that these little essays are easy to unpack.

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SPANISH THE LONG WAY

Llamas in Ecuador

Llamas in Cayambe, Ecuador by Adriana Leon

I took my first Spanish lesson in college 53 years ago.  This past month I have been reviewing advanced beginners’ Spanish in preparation for a trip to the Amazon, still struggling with the difference between llevar and llegar.  I am what you might generously call a “lifelong learner,”  though time might be running out on fluency.

I have taken night classes, online classes, internet classes, classes by CD—the whole enchilada. On long drives I used to enjoy Coffee Break Spanish with Mark Pentleton, a congenial Scotsman with a terrific Spanish accent and a command of several languages.  I have tried Duolingo (meh) and Babbel (pretty good).  The method I have used that works best for me is unfortunately the most annoying:the  Michel Thomas Method.  Touted as “The Language Teacher to the Stars,” Thomas uses a format that involves himself as the teacher and two students—one a fast learner and the other a real dummy.  I’m not quite sure why he chose that method unless it was to make listeners feel like they weren’t quite so stupid after all.  Also, it gives Michel more time to make the slow learner try repeatedly to get it right.  The funny part is that The Language Teacher to the Stars is easily and obviously exasperated with the hapless student.  Listening while I drove to Sacramento recently, I began to feel quite sorry for the hapless student and, conversely, resentful of the smug smartie.

What makes Michel Thomas’s method better than others I’ve tried is that he focuses on a few commonly used nouns, verbs and prepositions so that it’s possible to string them together in useful, comprehensible sentences, even if you know only 25 or 30 words of a given language.  [Once, after only a week of French with Michel, I was able to ask a sales clerk, “Avez vous des jeans plus grands?”]  I bet you can figure that one out.

This week, in preparation for life in the Amazon I am practicing Spanish for “Is that– snake, spider, llama–dangerous?”  (Es la serpiente, añana, llama peligrosa?)  Good luck (buena suerte) to me!

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Funerals and FUNERALS

candles

Funeral candles.

There are funerals, and then there are FUNERALS.  This past week we watched two public ceremonies, both wonderful send-offs in different ways.

John McCain planned every detail of his three funeral ceremonies and he must have had a hell of a time doing so. Thursday his memorial service was held in McCain’s church in Tucson and the friends he asked to speak were a diverse group—multi-cultural, multi-racial, from different walks of life. They didn’t disappoint.  There were tales of his bad driving, salty language and even—from Joe Biden, no less—a story about McCain dancing on a tabletop and knocking back tequila shooters with Jill Biden.  This I find difficult to picture.  What surprised me the most, however, was the ease with which McCain’s friends talked about how much they loved him and how often he said “I love you” to them. There hasn’t been a lot of love in the national dialogue lately.

At Aretha Franklin’s services, the form was similar:  a row of older male friends in chairs behind the podium—Jesse Jackson, the Reverend Al Sharpton and former president Bill Clinton, among others—and speeches about the deceased.  Sharpton’s speech was feisty, just like Aretha.   Clinton’s eulogy was surprisingly short and ended with a heartfelt “I just loved her.”

The service in Detroit was different than the one in Tucson:  less formal with more comings and goings, more music and—my favorite part—people rising from their seats to rock along with the performers.  As with McCain’s ceremony, Aretha’s farewell was multi-racial and multi-cultural.  Eight hours after the funeral began, Stevie Wonder concluded with a plea to “Make Love Great Again” and set the place rocking with a beautiful rendition of “I’ll Be Loving You Always.”

I don’t know if  Franklin and McCain ever met, but if they did,  I am sure they loved each other.  Both of them went through challenging times.  Both their lives were inspiring because of their courage, independence and the high standards they set.  For several hours over three days, it seemed that it just might be possible to Make America Love Again.

RIP, Aretha and John.

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4 BEST THINGS A DOCTOR CAN SAY

Here's to you, Mom!

Here’s to you, Mom!

NOTE:  In memory of John McCain, who died yesterday in the place he wanted to be, surrounded by his family.  (Originally published July 20, 2015).

The four best things a doctor can say to a patient facing a health crisis, real or imagined:

One: “This isn’t serious.”
Two: “We can fix this.”
Three: “You will get better.”
Four: “If I had a magic wand, what is it you would wish for today?”

The first three “good things” are simple sentences that can do as much to alleviate pain and anxiety as any medication. They give patients hope and confidence that they will receive the care they need. The fourth “good thing” refers to a different medical situation, but it, too, provides similar comfort. Dawn M. Gross, MD uses that sentence—“If I had a magic wand, what is it you would wish for today?”– to illustrate what doctors can say when caring for terminally ill patients. You can read the entire New York Times Opionator, “The Error in ‘There’s Nothing More We Can Do’” here.

In my experience, very few doctors are comfortable telling patients that there’s nothing more to be done. Instead, because they are dedicated to fixing what’s wrong, they are reluctant to “give up” and so recommend more treatments, medications or procedures that often ruin the quality of a patient’s last days. I certainly understand how difficult it must be for a doctor to tell a patient there is nothing more to do. What Dr. Gross, a hospice and palliative care physician, knows is that there is always more to be done and that patients know exactly what more they want, if only they are asked.

When my mother’s treatment for lung cancer stopped working in the Autumn of 2012, my siblings and I needed to convince her that we didn’t think she was a “quitter” because she wanted hospice care. Once she was reassured that she wasn’t letting any of us down, she had a few wishes: to see Barack Obama re-elected (check!); to be at home with her family(check!); not be hospitalized (check!) and to die before Thanksgiving so as not to “ruin the holidays” (check!). She was efficient, my mother. As difficult it was to lose her, she got what she wanted because she was able to answer Dr. Gross’s question: “What is it you wish for today?” She had one other wish. Though Mom never much cared for alcohol, in her last years we convinced her that Cosmopolitans tasted pretty darn good and she asked that after she died, we toast her memory with a Cosmo (check!). We miss you, Mom.

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HOW TO BE A LADY

A Real Lady’s Workplace

When I was growing up in the 1950’s, there was a lot of emphasis on “how to be a lady.”  This behavioral guide was drummed into my girlfriends and me at home and in Catholic school. NOT being ladylike encompassed chewing gum, eating noisily, talking loudly, arguing with adults and being a show-off.  As best I could tell, being a lady meant being soft-spoken, obedient and demure.

It has taken a lifetime for me to negotiate the often-fine line between being a lady and being a doormat, to stand up for what I believe while keeping a firm grip on my temper. Enter Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, “The Notorious RBG.”  I was taken aback a few minutes into this fine documentary to hear Justice Ginsburg say that her mother taught her that she should always be a lady. Ruth Bader Ginsburg—one of only nine women in her Harvard Law School class of 500+, champion of equal rights, role model for thousands of female attorneys?  How could she be all that and “a lady” as well?  I learned that her mother’s definition of being a lady included never allowing oneself to be overcome by useless emotions like anger and always to be independent and able to fend for yourself.

You can now see in theaters and by streaming video what RBG’s definition of being a lady encompasses:  tolerance, civility, dedication, hard work, and an unwavering commitment to fairness. And it doesn’t hurt that she obviously adored her husband. RBG’s life story will lift your spirits.

 

Photo by Claire Anderson via Unsplash

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THE WORRIED WELL

Not particularly worried.

THE UNWORRIED WELL

Several years ago I heard one of my doctor friends refer to “The Worried Well” and I began to, well, worry that I was one of them. I asked my personal physician about it and she told me she “didn’t think of me that way.” There is definitely a benefit to having someone around who can tell you that you are fine—absolutely fine.  And if there are reasons for doubting the reassurance, that’s normal for The Worried Well, too.

Look up “The Worried Well” on the internet and you’ll find dozens of fun facts describing the phenomenon:  one in four physician appointments is taken by a healthy person. The Worried Well often suffer from depression and/or anxiety; social isolation may be a component of their hypochondria.  Certainly some of my friends who live alone tend to be more concerned about their health than those who live with other people.  I know from experience that if I go too long without talking (or, more correctly, “unloading” my concerns) to a friend, anxiety creeps in.

A case in point:  last week I was alone for several days, a period that coincided with a dear friend’s third anniversary surviving Pancreatic Cancer. As night fell, I began to notice a few abdominal pains. One thing led to another and I spent a few hours researching symptoms while my abdominal pain shifted here and there. I didn’t meet many of the criteria for Pancreatic Cancer, so I symptom-surfed Gall Bladder disease.  It was kind of plausible but the more is read, the more I came to realize that abdominal pain can be caused by just about anything.  When my husband returned days later, I greeted him with my grab bag of maladies and he told me that I was fine—absolutely fine. There wasn’t any medical evidence for his opinion but that didn’t matter.  I felt better immediately.  Which just goes to show, it’s good to have a friend to tell you exactly what you need to hear.

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GUILT GEMS*

If only it worked.

If only it worked.

As I get older, I have much more to look back on and feel guilty about. Yes, yes there’s no point in feeling guilty.  I could go into what has made me like this, but who cares? When I can’t sleep, an army of misdeeds invades my consciousness: overtures of friendship I casually rejected, thoughtless criticisms, insensitivities.

A while back it occurred to me that I could right some of these wrongs. I decided to clear the decks of guilt. I began to call people I had offended in order to apologize. After the first three calls, I stopped. None of them remembered what I was so torn up about. They were baffled, incredulous and/or amused. Though that was a relief, I came to understand that I wasn’t so important after all. I might have been the hero (or villain) of my own life, but I sure wasn’t of anyone elses.

Guilt Gems” is a story by John Updike that has stuck with me over the years. It concerns a father named Ferris who thinks back to the many times he has been cruel to his children. He describes a softball game in which he felt forced to tag his ten-year-old daughter and recalled “…she looked at him with a smile, a smile preserved as in amber by a childish wild plea on her face. She was out.”

One of my guilt gems is the time I tried to prevent my four-year-old daughter from calling me into her bedroom in the middle of the night. The routine was that she would wet her bed, then call me and I would get up, change her pajamas and put a dry pad over the wet spot. I was a single working mother, tired all the time, and it seemed reasonable that Sara take care of this herself. As I was tucking her into bed, I put a fresh pair of PJs and a pad at the foot of her bed and stroked her head as I explained that when I was a little girl, my mommy had me change clothes and use a dry pad whenever I wet the bed. First she looked shocked, then frowned and asked in a quavery voice, “But did she just come in one night and tell you she was never going to come into your room again?”

Sara has a small daughter of her own now and she’s collecting her own treasure chest of guilt gems. Unfortunately, and contrary to my other experiences, she remembers the night I came into her room quite vividly.

Sleep well, dear readers.

 

*Back by popular demand!

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